Gospel & Hymn Breakup Playlist

Break ups are hard, and they're even harder if you don't have the right music to help you cope with the different emotions that are evoked during that time. Most folks, including myself, typically go to a sad and somber R&B playlist that will speak to their emotions. And I get it. Sometimes you need to wallow, and grieve, and wallow some more. But there comes a time when you have to move through the grief. 

When grieving love lost, at some point you should press pause on your somber 90s/early 2000s R&B playlist and listen to some good ole gospel music. I know--I'm hella churchy, but ya'll know this by now. As a recently recovered heartbroken woman, I tried everything I could to help me get through that season. And I must say that gospel music really helped a sister out. So this is my first good deed of the new year— a  lil gospel breakup playlist just for you or someone you know who’s going through it. Aight, so here we go.

"Farther Along"—Carlton Pearson: Let me tell y'all 'bout this song! Two days after my breakup, I called out sick from work to grieve and also catch up on school work that I hadn't done because I was an emotional mess. I must've went to about 3 different coffee shops and couldn't get any work done because I kept crying. It really was as sad and dramatic as i'm making it sound. I eventually gave up trying to do work and went home to pray and just cry. Midway through my praying, the good Lord brought this hymn to memory. After I finished praying, I had it on repeat as I  literally laid on my hardwood living room floor sobbing and singing, and let me tell ya'll, a peace that passeth all understanding came over me. Right there on my living room floor, this song comforted me as I tried to make sense of what had happened. Was I still sad? Yes. But I felt at peace knowing that eventually God would reveal to me why that relationship came to an end. And you know what? It's been about 9 months, and I still don't have all the answers, but I've had some revelations, and basically God was looking out for ya girl.  This song will help you come to terms with the fact that you may not have all the answers you'd like right now, but eventually, you'll see what God has in store for you--which is always something for your good.

"Smile"—Tasha Cobbs: This is that song that you listen to when you realize the relationship was distracting you from other important things in your life. For example, your relationship with God and/or ministry. It's like you're telling God you're ready to stop playing games and you want that old thang back. The ending of this song always does it for me!

"You won't let, me down
You won't break, my heart
You won't, let me fall,
So I give it to you."

This song is a good reminder that although men and women are fickle, and can be inconsistent with their love and  commitment, the Divine God is always here for us and will never abandon or give up on us. If that doesn't do something for you, I don't know what else will. This song is a beautiful reassurance that even when people fail us, we can always depend on God. Always.

"Everything"—Tye Tribbett & GA: First of all, let me just say that Tye Tribbett & GA really did their thing with this song! This is that song that will remind you of how much God does for you and the different ways God provides and cares for you. During heartbreak it's easy to believe the lie that we are alone, forgotten, and forsaken, but Tye and GA remind us of the different roles God plays in our lives, and immediately that lie is exposed for exactly what it is.

"Draw Me Close to You"—Marvin Winans: Marvin Winans' gospel zaddy voice alone is enough to heal, but when you really listen to the lyrics of this song, it will usher you into the presence of God. And quite frankly, that's the one place you want to be when you're hurting and vulnerable. After a breakup it's tempting to draw close to a new person (aka the rebound) or even worse, an old flame that you know you've got no business entertaining. This song right here will help you to draw close to the one person who is guaranteed to have your best interest at heart during an extremely vulnerable time.

"Love" —Kirk Franklin: This song is a beautiful reminder that real, genuine love is elusive, so there's nothing inherently wrong with you just because the relationship didn't last. It also serves as a reminder of what love is supposed to be—patient, kind, and consistent. Simple and to the point.

"God Has Not Forgot"—Tonex: If you can get past the the weird grammar of this song, it’s really a blessing. Because another very real feeling that will consume you during a difficult breakup is the feeling that God has some how forgotten the desires of your heart. It’s rough when you think that God finally answered your prayer, only to be right back at square one. Alone. Ask me how I know....lol. I listen to this song to remember that God knows what’s best for me 10 years down the line, while I only know what I want and think is right for me right now. This song helps put things back into perspective.

"Joy"—VaShawn Mitchell: Aight, so boom. Here’s where we stop our sad and somber introspection and begin to focus on all the things going right in our life. It takes a minute to get here, but trust me you will. I use to play this song even when I wasn’t exactly feeling joyful, but was just tired of being sad and it always lifted my spirit. This song will help you reflect on all the beautiful things about life, God, and you. I use to listen to this song and envision myself on the other side of grief, and it motivated me to push through the pain to get to the other side.

"Brighter Day"—Kirk Franklin: Maaaaan this song is an instant mood lifter! You’ll be sinking deep in sorrow and Kirk will come and swoop you up so fast your edges might get left behind. Especially when they break it down to the parts and them tenors start singing “bright day, brighter day brighter day”, sis you might very well forget the name of the negro who caused you pain. You gon’ see the brighter day they’re singing about and realize that joy really does come in the morning, even if it takes you some time to get to the morning. Because there’s levels to this healing thing.

"Hang On"—Kierra Sheared: Now I’ve got mixed feelings about this song because the guy that hurt me actually sent me this song to “encourage” me after he broke up with me....so there’s that. Apparently he was equally hurt and this song was helping him get through it....

michael.gif

Anyways, regardless of that foolishness, the song is a good mood lifter when you’re having an emotional day and feel like you’re on the brink of breaking down. I use to listen to this song on the train on my way to work and to church or anywhere where I had to be “on”. It helped me keep it together in those moments when I was still easily triggered

"Stomp" —Kirk Franklin & Nu Nation: Now, I’m saved but the blood of  Jesus is still at work in my life, and specifically when it comes to pettiness. That being said, one day this song came on while I was driving and I got hype because it brought me back to my childhood. And then as I continued to vibe to it, I thought of stomping out the anger and pain my ex caused me, and then that led to me thinking about stomping him out, and well....it felt good! I know the song don’t got anything to do with that, but it helped me deal with the culmination of my grief. Anger was the last stage for me, and hearing this song as I was working through my rage felt like chicken soup for the scorned woman's soul. I finally got everything off my chest to my ex and deleted our text thread (and you know it’s real when you delete the text thread, because you can’t go scrolling back and reminiscing at old messages and pictures.) Kirk and GP helped me shed that final bit of anger through a good stomp, albeit an imaginary one, and it felt so good y’all, so don’t deprive yourself. But pray for me, because clearly I need deliverance from my pettiness. 

Anyways, that's my personal list of songs that helped me get through. Be blessed beloveds! And If you've got some more good go-to gospel songs during a breakup, leave them in the comments below. 

Ashlee Wisdom