You Deserve Sunshine, Not Gray.


Six months in, and stuck in the gray yet again. You pride yourself in being a black & white type of girl, but here you are...caught in the thicket of some man’s fear of commitment. Why the hell do you keep attracting these men? Men who seem to see your value, recognize your dopeness, your sincerity, your passion, your “togetherness” and still not want to choose it. They say you’re amazing and still...still...they decide to not choose you. Which leads you to ask the question, what good is being amazing if amazing still won’t get you chose? 

Sometimes you find yourself wanting to lament being amazing, but then you feel ridiculous. Why would you regret all the hard work you put into becoming amazing ? Why would you regret the continuous work you do on yourself to grow and become more amazing? For what? What would you want instead? To be chosen by some man who won’t rise to the occasion to be the man you need and deserve? To be chose by some man who doesn’t even know what he wants? Girl, bye.  Be amazing. And choose you every. single. time these men allow their indecisiveness to play them. Choose you.

Gray baes, as you now call them, are a dime a dozen. There are a plethora of men waiting with bated breath to waste your precious time. There are a plethora of men unwilling to do the work required of them to be good partners to amazing women, because they know there’s always someone willing to settle for mediocre. The gray is ever-present. You know this better than anyone else. You can map out the GPS route for navigating gray areas, ‘cause you’ve been through enough of those gray backstreets, highways, and  local paths that lead to the same dead end. Stop. Making. Excuses. For. Him. Trust me, he got his group chat for that. And the intimacy y’all share don’t really mean much without mutual commitment. You know this, so stop the pretense.

Every day he chooses to be connected to and associated with you without committing to you, is everyday he continues to not choose you. Wake up, girl. Stop being the common denominator in these tragic love stories. It may not be your fault in getting here, but to stay here requires a choice on your part. And there is a better way. There is a rainbow to stand in awe of once you require the dreariness of gray to fade away. Stop choosing clouds when you know you want sunshine. You deserve sunshine. Act like it. Love like it. Walk away like it. Walk away from his gray and into the beaming sunlight you desire, deserve, and can delight in. And in the meantime, be your own sunlight until someone is man enough to bring you more rays and less gray. 

Ashlee Wisdom